Weapons play a big part in LPTPW.
From Ace Detective's Friendship Cannon to Yoshifan's Ray #0003, these weapons can turn the tables on a unsuspecting foe rather quickly.
- Bob-Omb Belt (Owned by Travis Touchdown) A utility belt with an endless supply of Bob-Ombs that explode upon immediate contact with any surface or organism. The blast can destroy any walls and blow any unfortunate soul who comes into contact to bits.
- Breechshot (Owned by Ryth): A deadly bolt-action rifle capable of popping heads with a single shot. A powerful blade is attached to it for CQC. Ryth grabs the rifle from its barrel to use it like an axe.
- Catalyst Blade (Owned by Piki): This sword allows the user to control the elements of the Earth, the current weather, defeat and open the doors of Shadow Pokemon, and allows the user to breathe in space, providing that the user has all 7 Treasures. Rumours (and the VM conversation between Master Spaz and Piki) suggest that the blade was created by Arceus and once wielded by Master Spaz himself. This was confirmed when Piki let Master Spaz borrow the Catalyst Blade to defeat Darnan, Piki's dark self.
- Chaos Emeralds (Owned by Shadow The Human and SuperSonicMKW): A set of seven gems that can grant vast amounts of power to their wielder. Shadow The Human and SuperSonicMKW are the only one who is able to tap into their true power, and can also access slight amounts of power even without touching them.
- Crappy Pop Music (Owned by everyone without a soul): A lethal combination of Rebecca Black, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and Nicki Minaj. Mainly used by Kotaro whenever Yoshifan's about to win a battle. Only press "Play" at your own risk...
- Friendship Cannon (Owned by Ace Detective): Although non-lethal, the Friendship Cannon is capable of turning anyone(except Yoshifan) into a brony, and can also reverse it. Ususally used to bring peace to the thread.
- Giant Ray (Owned by Wapeach): Capable of turning the owner into a giant, along with the ability to play dollies with the other posters. Highly dangerous.
- God Slaying Machine (Owned by Kotaro): The weapon is shrouded in mystery. No one has yet to see the weapon and live to tell about it. Recently destroyed by Ryth. Remade by Kotarō yet again.
- Golden Cage (Owned by Troopah) Locks anyone in an unescapable golden cage so they are trapped for all eternity.
- Gravity Hammer (Owned by Ryth): A powerful close-quarters combat weapon capable of displacing gravitational fields with a single smash. Ryth can combine it with his powers for destructive results.
- Infinity Blade (Owned by Ryth): Dubbed the God Killer, a powerful sword capable of killing immortals and draining their soul to power it up.
- Keyblade (Owned by ChocolateLuvr): A key shaped blade, which works much like a sword. The wielder is able to use magic. Some of the magic spells are Fire, Ice, Thunder, Cure, and Reflect.
- Llama Army (Owned by ShadowTheHuman and Crazy7): A rampaging, slightly insane army of llamas created on their llama farm. Watch out for spit.
- LolCats (owned by Crazy7): Crazy cats that Crazy7 uses to destroy all, their claws rip through any material, even the strongest in the world, and their razor sharp teeth can bite through anything.
- Master Sword (Owned by Master Spaz): The most powerful blade known to man. It was further upgraded by Piki where it can do 1-Hit kills forever. If it's wielder has no injuries, they can launch beams from the sword. The most powerful beam type is the Meme Beam, which only Spaz can use.
- Pokemon (Owned by Troopah): Troopah's personal Pokemon army. He sends them out to destroy whatever they lay their eyes on. His personal favorites: Pikachu, Dragonite, Weavile, Zoroark, Oshawott and Yveltal.
- Railgun (Owned by Ryth): A rifle-sized electromagnetic cannon. Its blasts travel at blinding speeds.
- Ray #0003 (Owned by Yoshifan): A portable laser/plasma weapon. Able to morph into other forms other then the standard Death Ray; various forms include the Cash Ray, the Lock LPTPW Ray, the Ray of Healing, and the Derp Ray.
- Solar Trans-OX (Owned by Ryth): Dual lightsabers powered up by different elemental Gems.
- Teleporter (Owned by Yoshifan314): Yoshifan's go-to weapon, this wonderful machine can teleport any being anywhere in the multiverse. Great for torturing your enemies and winning the world's biggest game of hide-and-seek.
- Tsubaki Mk-III (Owned by Travis Touchdown) A green-bladed beam katana with the ability to randomly grant Travis with unfathomable dexterity and agility. Obliterates most things with one neck-aimed slice and/or a stab in the chest. Travis is completely unacrobatic when not using this weapon.
- Ultra Win (Owned by ????): Shiny! This object itself is benign, but the lengths posters have gone through to acquire it makes it the most dangerous of all. Currently missing...or is it? Its suspected holder is currently thought to be Ryth, but that's yet to be determined. It was originally made by Kotarō and Wapeach from crystal magical wish granting chips in LaLa Land.
- Binary Rifle (Owned by Ryth): A powerful sniper rifle using ionized particles as ammo. One direct shot of this gun guarantees death. It is yet to be seen if Ryth can combine it with his powers as well. See picture below for details.
- Blazefire Saber (Owned by Ace Detective): A gunblade that is capable of both close quarters combat, as well as long range combat. Used when it is needed to control the peace.
- Dewgong (owned by Crazy7): A pokemon used by Crazy7 to destroy all with its Ice Beam, he always awaits his next dragon type victim...
- Energy Swords (Owned by Ryth): Swords whose blade is made of solidified plasma, taking their razor-sharp shape via magnetism. Ryth can be commonly seen wielding two of these at a time, and is so far the only individual to be able to do this successfully. It is yet to be seen if he can combine them with his powers. See picture below for details.
- Escape Rope V2 (Owned by Piki): A normal Escape Rope that has been modified by Pekan (Piki's brother) to escape from anything, even an unescapeable cage, for an infinite amount of times.
- Hylian Shield (Owned by Master Spaz): A powerful defensive tool. Created by the Thunder Dragon thousands of years ago, it is completely indestructible and is incapable of rusting.
- Incineration Cannon (Owned by Ryth): A 5-shot rocket launcher with flamethrower and shotgun properties. Like with the Gravity Hammer, Ryth can combine it with his powers to turn this already apocalyptic weapon into a nightmare. See the picture below for further details.
- SW1911 Custom (Owned by Shadow The Human): A completely custom made variant of the Smith & Wesson 1911. Featuring a silencer, a hidden laser sight, a jet black paint job, and chambered to fire .45 ACP tracer rounds.
- 7 Treasures (Owned by Piki): Treasures that can play melodies, but also deliver blows depending on the element the treasure holds. When combined with the Puzzle Sword, they create the Catalyst Blade.
- Xbone Sword (Owned by Master Spaz): While it may seem useless, the Xbone Sword is capable of instantly destroying the incarnation of Sin itself, an Xbox One console. It also deals near-lethal damage to all other Microsoft related things.